Being my first review for this blog, The Boy is still fresh in my memory – I only saw it 2 nights ago on Bluray.
The Boy tells the story of young American woman Greta Evans who is running from an abusive ex-boyfriend and manages (somehow) to end up in the English countryside at some kind of manor, taking on the position of a Nanny for an odd old couple named Mr and Mrs. Heelshire (yes, Heel-Shire).
The film opens with Great arriving at the Heelshire’s manor, which is a vast and complex looking place (to say the least).
Soon after entering, she is introduced to their “son” Brahms.
Brahms seems even stranger than his “parents”, simply because he is not real, per say. Brahms is a doll – yes – a fucking DOLL. Porcelain – enough said.
Greta is left with strict rules regarding Brahms and looking after him, and the Heelshit…Heelshire’s are then on their merry way (apparently their first holiday away in many years), leaving Greta open-mouthed, alone (seemingly) and dumb to believe that a couple (even as odd as the Heelshire’s) would actually keep a porcelain doll as a son.
Almost immediately, Greta is met with many loud bangs, Brahms being moved on his own, turning up in strange places, doors slamming, etc etc.
(This is the typical American PG-13 horror kind of shit that truly fucks me off about films nowadays, catering for the child masses, making films for the money alone, even though they’d probably make more if they truly knuckled down and released something good rather than something that everyone wants to see!).
It is soon apparent that the film-makers want you to believe that it is indeed Greta’s jealous and twisted ex-boyfriend being the menace in the house (I was personally dreading this possibility and am relieved that it was not the case, it would have made the film even more predictable than it already was).
The film drags somewhat, Greta meets and “makes out” with the local grocery-delivery boy, who is quite annoying (to say the least), the ex-boyfriend turns up, and we soon discover that…
Well, I will not spoil this film, other than to give it a fantastic rating of:
3 OUT OF 10
Three for effort, but the director certainly needs to learn one thing – loud bangs and scratching noises are not scare…not in the least. They don’t make me jump, nor do they serve as a “creation of tension” – they’re cliche and predictable.