The Visit (2015)



Two siblings become increasingly frightened by their grandparents’ disturbing behavior while visiting them on vacation. Nothing Happens.”


*Deep sigh of frustration…*

OK, it’s over. It’s finally finished. It’s only just finished, and it’s still stained all over my brain cells…

Please, if you’re a fan of M. Night Shyamalan, re-think your decision, or perhaps educate yourself on horror before watching another one of his films.

Whilst writing, and directing this film, I can see what his thought processes were…

“Oh, if I create total darkness, and then use a huge blinding overhead light on an old lady’s face – that’s SCARY!”

“If we film an old lady scratching at a wall – that’s SCARY!”

“If we use heaps abundance of loud bangs and never show what is banging – that’s SCARY!”

“Perhaps if I run around in circles with the camera and drop it several times in the filming process – that will be SCARY? YES!!!”

“An old man shitting into a nappy – that’s SCARY!”

“An old lady making a young girl clean her oven – SCARY!!”

“I will try to be artistic and hip by not using music during my horror masterpiece, that way it will be SCARY!”

“I will write the character of a white beast with yellow eyes which will be talked about in several scenes of my movie, but I will never explain it, nor will I show it – because then it’s SCARY!”

“I will continue to make PG-13 films so that people can take their kids to my movies, but I will still call them “horror” films, that way I will get everyone’s hopes up – even though they’re not really horror, I will trick people into watching these films by encouraging them with the pretense that it’s horror!”

“I like to call my movies “psychological horror”, mainly because I never show anything in my films and that pisses everyone off to the point that they may indeed enter a psychosis afterwards – PSYCHOLOGICAL HORROR – SCARY!”

“I have upset a lot of people by misleading them with my films, but I do not care, because I have made lots of $$ from them – that in itself is SCARY!”

“Despite calling myself a psychological horror director, I fail to know how to actually create an atmosphere in a film. I like to try, but I just cannot, because I don’t know how. Because of this, instead I just like to pretend. Pretend that something is going to happen, and then show nothing – because that makes it SCARY!”

I could write a whole book based around this, but it’s pointless to waste my time on that. Truly, do yourselves a fine favor, do not go near this film with a goddamn barge-pole, please don’t be tempted (like I was) by the “tag-lines” and false pretenses that M. Night Shyamalan uses to try and rope people into his films. Avoid anything else he does in the future like the plague. I will be from now on.

I thought that The Devil and The Village and The Lady in the Water were bad, but this thing was on a whole new level of atrocity.

THIS is a director who has actually won the Golden Raspberry for worst director.
I doubt very much if he’s ever seen films by the master’s of his “genre” – Argento, Fulci, Franco, Romero, etc. If he had, he’s taken no inspiration from them and tried to make it his own, he’s just used his deluded way of thinking in order to rope people into his films for the only reason that I come come to – MONEY.

Money does certainly make the world go around, but if you have no passion, no originality, no love – you should not be directing horror.

I’m the first to admit – I watch some pretty “shit” films, films that other people would turn their nose up at and ask what is wrong with me. They have potential though – they come from a place of inspiration, of creativity, and they all have redeeming qualities of some kind. M. Night Shyamalan’s films do not.



0 out of 10.




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