It Follows – Review/Rant
It Follows – Review/Rant
“Following the tragic death of her parents Fawn Harriman discovers she has inherited a theater in the town of Amityville. She, along with 3 friends, decides to spend the weekend there looking the place over. Meanwhile one of her High School teachers begins an investigation into the village’s past and makes a connection with something that goes back beyond recorded history.”
Lets us be honest here – the only decent Amityville film was the original from 1979, and even that was not a classic horror film in my eyes, it suffered from a badly written script, predictability, and sub-par acting, but at least it tried, right?
Amytiville Playhouse I viewed this morning (hey, I kept the lights out for full effect, and it was very early), but I am regretting it even minutes after.
Let us begin with the negative, because let’s face it…there ain’t nothing positive about this steaming pile of shit.
This thing does not get anything right.”lead actress” Monèle LeStrat has never appeared in a film before, not even a TV advert or short film, and it shows. Oh Lord, does it show. She mumbles and fumbles her way through this poorly written script with the best of an amateur’s ability, but is so terribly bad at even doing that – it left me reaching for the stop button less than 20 minutes into this shitfest.
The rest of the so-called “cast” have never been in a motion picture film either, nor an advert or short film, they have no experience, and it (too) shows.
So, who the hell is responsible for this mess?
John R. Walker – an actor turned director, and this is his “feature film debut” to be proud of. It’s an atrocious first attempt. He appears in this film too, so be warned.
Believe me, if you’re a fan of horror like myself, or films in general, spare yourself the pain of this, I made the mistake of sitting through the whole thing and it’s damaged my brain some.
0 out of 10 – This is what is referred to as a “stinker” in the business of film.
Many actors and actresses seem to nowadays be taking the work they’re offered just for a paycheck and nothing more. I find it hard to believe that the paycheck for some of the horrendous shit that Hollywood has been spewing out recently would even be worth it though.
Here’s a list of brilliant actors and actresses who are now wasted in completed and utter garbage.
(SOME OF THE PEOPLE ON THIS LIST ARE NOW DECEASED, NO DISRESPECT IS MEANT BY THIS LIST)
Again, this list in no way complete, and I will continue to add to it, as I watch more shit so that you do not have to waste your time doing so. Interesting to note, there’s a slight pattern in the list – DRAMA/THRILLER to COMEDY. Actors who should never have crossed over, if they did not have the chops to pull it off. (Some actors learned from their mistakes and never did it again, others continued to do it even though they obviously knew and felt deep inside how truly bad it was!).
Hollywood is unforgiving, it chews people up, spits them out, says “fuck you,” and then ropes in the next “new thing”. When he/she looses their looks, regardless of acting abilities, they find it hard to find good work – it’s a sad thing, but there is a solution – stop working in Hollywood!
Plenty of work in independent films exists, and most times they are more hard-hitting than the shit that Hollywood continues to force-feed us.
(For a very good and recent example, take “Spotlight” which just won best movie of the year at the 2016 Oscars. Now, the film itself deals with a very good subject, and it handles it relatively well. But you can just see Mark Ruffalo – who is usually amazing – just going through the motions for the sake of it. Michael Keaton does the same, but we expect that from him. )
Another very interesting side-note is the transfer from adult to children’s cinema…and not moving from it! (Johnny Depp is quite known for this, as is Tom Hanks), and once again I blame comedy and Hollywood… because America truly feels the need to dumb things down so that “people get it” without forcing an audience to truly think for themselves and appreciate the moment for what it is.